How to Find a Primary Care Physician You Click With

These red (and green!) flags can help you figure out who’s the right fit.
Illustration of primary care doctors
CSA-Printstock

If you have a sore throat, a weird ache, or feel a UTI coming on, who are you going to call? Your primary care physician (PCP), of course! (No, not your best friend, although she might be a close second.) At least that’s the way it’s supposed to go. The problem is that if you’re like a lot of people, you end up at a walk-in clinic or worse, the ER, because you don’t have a PCP.

About 100 million people, or one out of every three in the US, doesn’t have a go-to health care professional—whether it’s a family physician, internist, geriatrician, nurse practitioner, or physician assistant—who has their back when it comes to pain, sprains, or an annual physical. Your primary care doctor should be your health “home base,” Jaclyn L. Leong, DO, an internist at UCI Health, tells SELF. “Having a strong connection where you feel safe and comfortable sharing your needs is fundamental.”

There’s currently a shortage of primary care docs in the US, and recent data from the Health Resources & Services Administration (HRSA) found the country could use 17,000 additional physicians to bridge that gap. However, having one can seriously benefit your long-term health, research has shown, so connecting with the right person is worth it. Here, a few things to consider as you start your search for a primary care doc who is covered by your insurance, is taking new patients, and you actually like—the holy grail of health care, if you will.

1. Don’t underestimate word-of-mouth recommendations.

Yapping with your pals and acquaintances—the ultimate low-tech research—is a really useful way to find a general practitioner, experts tell SELF. “I have many patients who are recommended by a friend or a colleague because they’ve learned that my goals for a patient’s health align with theirs,” says Mike Sevilla, MD, a family physician at Family Practice Center of Salem in Columbus, Ohio.

While Google can sometimes be your friend, it can’t replace the type of in-depth questions you can ask friends and family—and their answers will provide way more detail than you’d be able to glean from an online review or the practice website. For example, “Do you get the sense that this doctor really listens to you? Do they ever rush through appointments? Do they dismiss your concerns or body shame you?”

And if you happen to know any local pros in the medical field, they definitely have an opinion, says Matthew A. Weissman, MD, site chair of the department of medicine at Mount Sinai Downtown who also maintains a primary care practice. “Nurses and specialists—like cardiologists—usually have a good sense of who is thorough, personable, and responsive.”

2. Do a social media sweep.

Not every doc has or needs a social media footprint. But it’s becoming more common for physicians to build an online “brand” through Instagram and TikTok. Having a chronically online GP may not be a priority for you—and it’s definitely not a prerequisite for being able to provide excellent care—but if an expert does have active social pages, scanning them can be a really helpful way to get a sense of their personality, as well as whether their values match yours, Dr. Sevilla says.

“What is the doctor saying about health and their opinions on social media?” he asks. “Learning these views can definitely be red flags for people and a sign that a doctor isn’t a good fit for you.”

3. Verify the basics.

Before you commit to an appointment, make sure the boring-but-essential stuff checks out. For example:

The office is convenient.

Sure, maybe you won’t mind driving a little further for a better doctor, but if it’s a serious schlep, you’ll be more likely to put off appointments when you really need them.

They offer telehealth, which can come in handy.

Most people would prefer to have the option to have a quick telehealth check-in, a 2022 study found. (Think refilling a prescription, reviewing a medication, or getting test results.) And telehealth may be even more crucial depending on where you live: Research has found it can hugely expand access to care and reduce costs if you live in a rural community.

They take your insurance.

This is a biggie! You can sometimes figure this out on the practice website, Dr. Sevilla says, but call your insurance provider if you’re unsure. And if you don’t have health insurance, ask if they accept self-pay or offer payment plans.

The clinic hours work within your schedule.

Not all GPs are open on Saturday and Sunday, for example—so if weekday appointments will always be stressful to make, look for a doctor with extended evening or weekend hours. “I like to see how the office answers the phone and schedules new patients,” Dr. Weissman says. If the next appointment is months away, ask how typical this is and whether existing patients are also having trouble getting on the books. (A wait for a new-patient appointment isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though: “If [it’s] because they’re fitting in their current patients, [that] can be a green flag.”)

4. Look for green flags on your first visit.

Speaking of green flags: Your first face-to-face with a new doc is a chance to gut check your compatibility. Green flags vary from person to person, but experts say these are a few sure signs you’ve found a keeper:

They’re easy to talk to.

“You can tell they’re listening and care about your needs,” Mohit Gupta, MD, an internist at Northwestern Medicine Delnor Hospital, tells SELF.

They allow you to be in charge of your health.

You know your body better than anyone, so while your primary care doctor can use their expertise to offer guidance, “they should also be open to your health care goals,” Dr. Leong says.

They take time to explain things.

Medical jargon can be difficult to wrap your head around, but a good GP will always help you understand what’s going on with your body. “At the first visit, I like to see how much attention they’re paying,” Dr. Weissman says. “Are they making sure all of your questions are answered?”

They’re honest about their limitations.

Even the best doctors need a second opinion sometimes, so it’s not a bad thing if your GP can’t answer a question or is stumped by a tricky symptom, Dr. Leong says. But they shouldn’t be offended or take it out on you if they don’t know the answer to a question or you bring up something you read online. They should be eager to find out that answer, “or refer you to someone who does know,” she says.

They respect and understand your beliefs.

Culturally competent care is more than a buzzword; it’s been shown to improve health outcomes and help bridge vast disparities. “On a first visit, I would have an open dialogue and [ask] questions about cultural issues that are important to you,” Dr. Sevilla says. Someone who shares your identity, cultural traditions, or beliefs will likely be easier to relate to, but due to the ongoing primary care shortage—plus the disappointing fact that the medical field continues to have a serious lack of diversity—it might be tricky to find someone who checks all your boxes. (The HRSA’s 2023 report on the primary care workforce, for example, found that just 6.7% of family medicine doctors and 7.8% of internists are Black.) At the very least, your doctor should make you feel heard and be willing to work with you to accommodate traditions and beliefs, Dr. Sevilla says.

They make you feel empowered.

Even if they’ve had to deliver difficult news, your primary care doctor shouldn’t send you off without helping you feel in control of the situation. “When leaving a visit, you [should] feel heard and understood with a clear plan on the next steps,” Dr. Leong says.

5. Keep an eye out for red flags too.

A doc might not be a good fit if:

They make you feel rushed.

When you walk into that exam room, you should feel like you’re your GP’s number-one priority. A major red flag is a provider who “continually interrupts you, doesn’t appear to be engaged or listening,” Dr. Leong says.

They dismiss your concerns.

Everyone has heard a horror story about someone whose doctor said their symptom was no big deal, only for it to turn out to actually be a very big deal. (We’ve heard many, like these people who were diagnosed with anxiety even though they had colon cancer or lung cancer, and another with dementia that was mistaken for psychological distress.) Women and people of color are more at risk of what is sometimes called “medical gaslighting”: In one 2009 study, researchers found that middle-aged women with heart disease were more likely to be misdiagnosed with a mental health condition; in another more recent study, women and people of color who reported to the ER with chest pain had to wait longer to be seen by a doctor. So if a GP ever acts like your symptoms are all in your head, run, don’t walk, to the exit. You can find someone else who will take your concerns seriously—your health depends on it.

They’re rude.

A primary care doctor doesn’t necessarily have to be warm and fuzzy, but don’t settle for someone who makes you feel disrespected or uncomfortable in any way. You should never leave “feeling belittled, or that your provider has been condescending,” Dr. Leong says.

The vibe just feels off.

Sometimes a great primary care doctor practices in a not-so-great office, but a chaotic setting is certainly not going to make you feel calm and comfortable. If the waiting room looks dirty or unorganized, the reception staff is rude or unprofessional, or the schedule is chronically late, you may be better off finding a doc who operates (heh) someplace that is a bit more hospitable.

6. Ask how they communicate with patients.

Finding a primary care doctor who communicates effectively during office visits is one thing. But you’ll also be hitting up your primary care physician after you get back home. Maybe you have a quick follow-up question, you’re having an Rx reaction, or you need a refill, stat!

As you’re looking for a doc, ask how you’d contact the office in cases like these. For example, does the office use a portal like MyChart to share updates and allow you to message your GP? If so, how often do they tend to check it and respond? What about prescription refills—do these happen automatically, or will you have to chase them down every few months? And if you call the office, will your doctor call back, or is there a nurse or nurse practitioner who handles that instead?

It’s also important to ask what happens after the office is closed, Dr. Weissman says. “Does the phone go to an answering service to reach the doctor on call, or does the machine just say ‘Call 911 if this is an emergency?’” Even if a GP is absolutely incredible, it can be really, really frustrating if they’re impossible to get in touch with the second you leave their office.

A chat with the office administrator can also help you suss out other key considerations. What about late fees—how much will you be charged if you need to cancel? And how much notice do they need? A flexible cancellation policy can be really important if you have kids, for example, or a hectic job where commitments tend to suddenly come up.

Also try to find out what the process is like for follow-ups and referrals, Dr. Gupta says. If you need to see a specialist, can they help connect you with someone? Or will they just say “find an endocrinologist”?

“You want someone who can see you for preventive care, chronic disease management, and acute illness treatment,” he says. In other words, a primary care doctor should provide well-rounded care—not just write a quick prescription and send you on your way.

Related: