Having a parched mouth is never fun, but is there a worse time to go sandpaper-tongued than when you’re boning? On top of feeling unpleasant, dry mouth can lead to thick, sticky saliva, bad breath, and difficulty swallowing—none of which are exactly ideal in the bedroom, especially where kissing and oral sex are concerned. (If you’ve ever tried to go down on someone when there’s not a drop of spit in your mouth, you feel me on this.)
If your teeth, tongue, and lips transform into the Sahara whenever you’re on a trip to Pound Town, you might think it’s just the price of a gasping good time. Luckily, you’re not doomed to endure a dry mouth during sex forever. Here’s how to make things wetter.
Before tackling the problem, it helps to know why this is going on in the first place. Dry mouth, or xerostomia, happens when you don’t produce enough spit to keep your mouth wet. As SELF previously reported, one of the most common culprits is dehydration. Simply put, you can’t produce enough saliva if you don’t have fluid to make it with.
Chugging water like your name is Mrs. Poseidon doesn’t automatically save you in the moment when you’re having sex. For one, your body uses up a lot of fluid when you’re mid-hookup, like by sweating to cool you down and getting you properly lubricated. So there’s a chance you need to drink more water than you think, both beforehand and in the moment, to get through a hot encounter. As SELF previously reported, the Institute of Medicine of the National Academies of Sciences recommends taking in 2.7 liters (or 11 cups) to 3.7 liters (close to 16 cups), in terms of your daily hydration.
Most of us turn into heavy breathers during sex, and when we’re panting away we’re not exactly helping our mouths stay moist. “The nose is the only way to humidify the air we breathe in, so mouth-breathing is drying to the mouth and throat,” Inna Husain, MD, an otolaryngologist at Community Healthcare System in Munster, Indiana, tells SELF. Not to mention, Dr. Husain says there’s actually erectile tissue in your nose that can become engorged with blood. So when arousal causes your body to pump up the flow to those tissues, you might get congested. This sex-specific stuffy nose (and sometimes sneezing) is known as “honeymoon rhinitis,” and it can cause you to breathe more through your mouth.
Next up, there are your hormones. There’s a lot going on when you’re in the throes of passion. You might feel a rush of excitement (say, from a new partner, kink, or location)—or you might feel anxious or stressed, like when you’re stuck in your head, struggling to perform, or worrying about your roommate overhearing you. Your body tends to interpret these feelings as stress, and it responds with a rush of hormones like adrenaline and norepinephrine. This can leave your mouth high and dry. The reason? “Blood is shunted toward systems that will help you flee from danger and away from parts of your body that help you rest and digest,” Gail Saltz, MD, an associate attending professor of psychiatry at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital and Weill Cornell, tells SELF. That includes our digestive system, home of our salivary glands. In other words, your nervous system turns the knob down on your spit production as it attends to other parts of your body, like your heart and lungs.
Medications and supplements are another common underlying cause. (Seriously, how often do you see dry mouth listed among potential side effects?) Just to name a few, antihistamines, high blood pressure meds, and antidepressants often mess with your salivary glands’ ability to do their job.
Given that our bodies don’t naturally prioritize a well-moisturized mouth during sex, solving the problem can feel tricky. Luckily, there are a few things you can try to grease the wheels.
As you might imagine, staying hydrated in general—and keeping water by the bed during sex—can go a long way in combating the spit-killing effects of slowed saliva production and mouth-breathing. No need to chug or anything—simply keep an easy-to-sip bottle nearby so you can moisten things up whenever you feel sandpapery, Dr. Husain says.
While you’re at it, throw on a humidifier, she says. Remember how part of your nose’s job is to moisturize the air you breathe in? Well, if you’d rather keep your mouth wide open (or just can’t help it), adding extra humidity to the air around you works too.
If water and humidity alone don’t seem to cut it, Dr. Husain suggests popping a lozenge, mint, or piece of gum leading up to the act. Since sucking and chewing anything tells our digestive system it’s time to start producing spit, your favorite brand and flavor will do just fine. If you want even more slip and slide, Dr. Husain notes that some specialty products have effective saliva-increasing ingredients like Spilanthes acmella. (That’s what’s behind the drool-inducing effects of Flintts Mints, which you might recognize from TikTok—they went viral a few years ago.)
If you’re using lube and having oral sex, Dr. Husain warns against choosing formulas with sugar—usually found in flavored lube—for the sake of your dental health, since it’s generally not good for your teeth to let sugar sit on them. (But you should definitely find another kind of lubricant that works for you! There are plenty of options out there, as SELF previously reported.)
When in doubt, it’s rarely a bad idea to talk to a doctor to get to the bottom of what’s really going on. A ton of different things can contribute to dry mouth, including lifestyle habits like smoking or medical conditions like Sjögren’s syndrome. No matter the cause, if you’re dealing with this routinely, it might lead to more than sex-specific consequences. According to the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, long-term dry mouth can wreak havoc on your dental health, thanks to the role spit plays in keeping tooth decay and infections at bay.
The good news is, a lot of underlying causes of dry mouth can be treated—or at least worked with. While you shouldn’t forgo necessary meds, you can explore effective alternatives with a doctor. For example, Dr. Saltz explains that you don’t have to suffer horrible allergies just because antihistamines dry you out—you might just swap to a mix of nose sprays and eyedrops instead.
Regardless of your dry mouth’s origin story, it’s worth finding a solution if it’s killing your vibe. It’s not just a minor annoyance—it can seriously take you out of the moment and get in the way of a pleasurable experience. Now, brb—gotta go hydrate before tonight’s date.
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